I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR 76 YEARS
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
Oh my god my mom brought me an iced coffee when she picked me up from strength training and i was drinking it really fast cause i was so hot and sweaty but then we hit a bump in the road and it spilled aLL DOWN MY CLEAVAGE BUT IT FELT INCREDIBLE SO I MADE THIS LOUD SEXUAL MOAN AND MY MOM ALMOST CRASHED
wow you guys sure like my sexy near-death experiences